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09 September 2008 @ 03:14 pm
[FIC] Change of Heart - Chapter Seventeen  
Title: Change of Heart
Author: Amouralamer
Length: 17/20
Pairings: Jaejoong/Changmin, Others
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Melodrama? Fluffy sap?
Genre: Au, Romance, Smut, Fluffy sap (Flap?)
Summary: Jaejoong and Changmin are straight, college students and fellow co-workers. A night out starts a chain reaction that changes their lives forever.

Disclaimer: Since nobody owns them...I call dibs!

A/N: Only three more chapters after this one! And as promised, HoSu is back!


It was late, but try as he might, Changmin couldn't sleep. He lay on his side, turned away from Jaejoong who had had no problem falling asleep. Min was glad Jaejoong didn't suffer from insomnia, it made it a lot easier to hide the fact that he was crying.

Changmin's love for Jaejoong seemed to grow everyday, but so did his pain. Min knew that they could never be openly together. Society had no tolerance for two men in love, but their closest friends would accept them. After all, they had accepted Jaejoong and Yoochun as a couple.

That was the problem. Jaejoong was Yoochun's boyfriend so he and Min's love had to be kept a secret from everyone.

Min hated the fact that he couldn't openly claim Jaejoong as his. Hated that he had to guard his every word and gesture. But what he hated the most was that as long as Jaejoong was Yoochun's boyfriend, he would never truly belong to Changmin. It ate at Min's heart.

Sniffing, Changmin froze as Jaejoong wrapped sleep warmed arms around him, afraid that Jaejoong had heard him crying.

As Jaejoong nuzzled into the back of Changmin's neck, he muttered a sleepy,
"Love you." and drifted back to sleep.

And just like that, Min was calm again. Wrapped securely in Jaejoong's arms and with the echo of Jaejoong's words in his ears, Changmin could finally sleep.


Junsu is laying in Yunho's bed. In Yunho's arms. Yunho was asleep, but Junsu was wide awake. Stroking his fingers along Yunho's arm in lazy circles, Su thinks about his wedding. It isn't too far away.

Both families were happy and excited. Junsu and Ye-ryeon have had lots of fun planning and registering. On the one hand, Junsu couldn't wait for his wedding day. In his mind it represented a straightening out of his life, but on the other hand...it meant an end to his time with Yunho.

Junsu had spent almost every night with Yunho for the last couple of weeks. They didn't even have sex every time. sometimes they just watched a movie or sat and talked. Su found that those times were the ones he liked the best. He would miss Yunho.

Something else that had been preying heavily on his mind was his wedding night. Junsu was nervous. Nervous that Ye-ryeon won't enjoy it. He knows about sex between men, but has no idea about what a woman enjoys. Junsu wants Ye-ryeon to have no regrets in their life together.

Suddenly Su's phone starts to vibrate it's way across Yunho's nightstand. Grabbing it before it can fall to the floor, Junsu is surprised to see Ye-ryeon's number in the display window.


"It's me, did I wake you?"

"No, I was awake. Is something wrong?"

"Yes. Well, no. Nobody is hurt or anything if that is what you mean." Junsu breathes a sigh of relief. She had him worried for a second. "I just..I need to see you."

"Now?" Su is surprised.

"Sorry, I know it's late, but I really want to see you."

Ye-ryeon has never called him like this before and Su was worried. Something wasn't right.

"I'll be right over."


Yunho wakes to find Junsu getting dressed.
"Su-ah? Where are you going?"

"Sorry to wake you. Ye-ryeon called and needs to see me."

Yunho is silent as Junsu leans over and kisses him briefly.
"I'll be back in a little while."

Watching Junsu leave, Yunho's heart hurts. He knows that with Su's wedding rapidly approaching, one day Junsu would leave and not come back.

Yunho has never met Ye-ryeon, but he can see that Junsu adores her. It is in his voice and on his face whenever she is mentioned and it made Yunho ache. He never doubted Junsu's desire for him, but he knew it wasn't enough.

Junsu may like to fuck me, but it is her he loves.


When Ye-ryeon opened the door for him, Junsu took her hands and sat her down on the sofa.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"I don't know Su. Maybe nothing." Looking at their clasped hands, she tries to collect her thoughts.
"I..I'm worried about us. Lately I feel like you're a million miles away. I'm sorry to call you so late at night, but I need to know." Looking him square in the eye she asks,
"Are you having second thoughts? About marrying me?"

"No! Ye-ryeon no. I still want to marry you."

"Really? Because I've been thinking. You never touch me. You never even seem to want to. We kiss, but you don't really kiss me. You treat me like one of your sisters!"
Taking a deep breath she says,
"I'm starting to think you don't love me. Not like you should."
Pulling her hands out of his, Ye-ryeon grasps Junsu's face instead.
"So tell me Junsu...why do you want to marry me?"

Looking into the worried eyes of his best friend Junsu knows that she deserves the truth.

"I do love you Ye-ryeon..." he whispers.

"...But not like that, right?" she finishes for him.

Junsu shakes his head and starts to cry. Taking her face in his hands too, Su presses their foreheads together.
"Forgive me. I'm not the person you think I am. I've been hiding behind you the entire time we've been together."

"Wh...what do you mean?"

"I'm gay." the words are barely a whisper, but she heard them.

Ye-ryeon's hands drop away from Su's face and she leans back to stare at him. Her mouth opens and closes, like she doesn't know which questions to ask first.

"Whe...is this a new...discovery?"

He shakes his head.

"So...how long?"

"My whole life."

"Then...why did you ask me out?"

"To make it look like I was straight." Junsu wanted to take her hand again, but was afraid she would reject him.
"My family doesn't know...about me. I've been dating girls ever since high school to keep it that way."

"So you never loved me." Her sad face broke Su's heart.

"I DO love you! Ye-ryeon, you're my best friend." Running his hands through his hair, Junsu searches for the words to make her understand. "I, usually I date a girl for a couple of months, three at the most, then I break it off with her. That way there is no chance of her becoming seriously attached to me when, for me, it wouldn't ever go anywhere."

Taking a chance at rejection, Su grabbed her hand.
"I had every intention of doing the same thing with you, but I became attached to you. I didn't want to lose you. I was afraid that if I told you I just wanted to be friends that you would leave me altogether."

Ye-ryeon is incredulous. "So you asked me to marry you?!" Su winced at her unspoken Are you stupid? which she may not have said out loud, but Su heard loud and clear.

"You asked me to marry you so that you wouldn't lose me as a friend? Don't you think that's a little drastic?"

"Look, Ye-ryeon, I'm tired of hiding. Tired of being alone. I can't tell my family that I like men, I don't want them to hate me. I'll never love another woman like I love you and I thought that we could be happy together. I'm sorry I hurt you. If you want to break it off, I'll understand."

"Junsu, I'm more confused than hurt. Stunned, really. But.....I'm not in love with you either. It looks like we were both marrying our best friends. I agreed to marry you for the same reason that you asked me. I thought we could be happy together too."

They are both quiet, thinking. Junsu asks her,
"Now what?"

"I don't know. Wait! Do you have a...boyfriend?"

Thinking of Yunho, Su tells her,
"No, but I have a lover."

"So you've been cheating on me this whole time? The whole time you've been with me, you've also been with him?"

Wanting to be completely honest Su says,
"I've been having occasional one night stands while we've been together, but I've only been seeing him for a little while."

"Does he know about me?"


"And he doesn't care that you were going to marry me? Were you going to keep seeing him after we were married?"

"No. Once we wed it would have ended and I would have been faithful to you. He knows that too."



Ye-ryeon is hesitant as she asks,
"Do you love him?"

Junsu bites back a sob.


"Oh, Su..."


It is morning before Junsu and Ye-ryeon are finished talking. Making his way to Yunho's house Junsu lets himself in with the key that Yunho gave him.

Taking it off of his ring he gently lays it on the table in the hall. Walking further into the house he sees that Yunho is up and in the kitchen making tea.

"What's wrong?" Yunho asks, seeing Junsu's face.

"I told her. Everything."

"And?" Yunho couldn't help the hope that sprung to life deep inside his heart.

"She is still willing to marry me, but...but I have to stop seeing you."

Yunho's hope dies a quiet, but excruciating death and takes his heart with it.
"I see."

Looking down, Yunho thinks things over. Then, nodding once, Yunho walks forward, wraps Junsu in a tight hug and whispers,

"Be happy."



Cast Pics!

The lovely Kim Jaejoong! Okay. So I put in the smaller pic, but I added a second one!

The exquisite Shim Changmin!

Horikita Maki

The charismatic Kim Junsu!


The aegyo Jung Yunho!


The sultry Park Yoochun!

The delectable Joo Jihoon!

Kim Heechul. How can you not love Chullie!

Kang Eun Bi. Blech!

I forgot to add Yoon Eun Hye! Love her!

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Whatever They Say by Dbsk (yeah, I listen to a lot of Dbsk)
realitywaiting on September 9th, 2008 10:52 pm (UTC)
YAYZ!! *reads* 8D
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 9th, 2008 10:55 pm (UTC)
Haha! You're fast!♥
(no subject) - realitywaiting on September 9th, 2008 11:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amouralamer on September 9th, 2008 11:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - realitywaiting on September 9th, 2008 11:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Laurachangminiminmin on September 9th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
NOOOOOO im almost first
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 9th, 2008 11:09 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Second! You're getting faster though, last time you were third! XD
(no subject) - changminiminmin on September 9th, 2008 11:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
ariesja: HoSuariesja on September 9th, 2008 11:10 pm (UTC)
I have been following this fic, and I realy love it !
Sorry this is the first time I comment. I'll comment more from now on.

I'm very curious how the HoSu will go from here ! Can't wait for the next chaper.

[I would have been second if I didn't forgot to log in on LJ XD)
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 9th, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading and commenting! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Ha ha! If you had been second, changminieminmin would have been third again! LOL! XD
ansukaansuka on September 9th, 2008 11:50 pm (UTC)
spoot xD
ansukaansuka on September 10th, 2008 12:12 am (UTC)
OMG! poor yunhiis, he thinks that junsu is going to let him ... but i know that Ye-ryeon understand junsu (i hope so ¬¬)
i'm a new reader ^^ since yesterday i was readind the ff and i loooove it! :3
Jaemin is the cutest think ever and the the big banana flavor lub xDD *laught so much*

I'm also sad for changmin in this chapter seems like he wants to tell the world that he loves jaejoong but he can't becauce of the closemind-people xD and yoochun ¬¬ tzzz by the way how much time left until the contract is end? xDDD *i wanted to know*

i'm gonna be waiting for the next chapter :3 thankss!
(no subject) - amouralamer on September 10th, 2008 12:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
지지epiktraveller on September 10th, 2008 12:45 am (UTC)
are you serious??? HoSu ends...?? no..no...i don't think so. why would Su took off his ring if he's still going to marry re yeon? *flails*

and...and...JaeMin.....omo..omo....*heartbreaks* ouch! *cuddleMin*
지지epiktraveller on September 10th, 2008 12:49 am (UTC)
and....are you serious there's only 3 chappies left....???
(no subject) - amouralamer on September 10th, 2008 01:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - epiktraveller on September 10th, 2008 02:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
asuka2507asuka2507 on September 10th, 2008 01:30 am (UTC)
noo~*sobs* so sad~ hosuuuu~ will it be hosu till the end... or they would just break off? huhuhuhu *sniffles* i pity minnie too~ i wish joongie could just let him know... *sobs*
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 10th, 2008 01:52 am (UTC)
*handsyouatissue* It'll be okay!
yukichan13yukichan13 on September 10th, 2008 01:35 am (UTC)
Junsu sure is making his life complicated D=
Poor Changmin, hope the deal will be over soon so that they can be happy...
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 10th, 2008 01:54 am (UTC)
*waves* n_n
(Deleted comment)
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 10th, 2008 01:56 am (UTC)
Welcome! Better late than never! XD

Laurennarcolept_smurf on September 10th, 2008 02:34 am (UTC)
ARGH cliffhanger!!!!!!! so much angst it was awesome! Can't wait for next chap!!
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 10th, 2008 10:27 am (UTC)
Glad you liked it! XD
heebummieheebummie on September 10th, 2008 03:10 am (UTC)
I've spent half my night reading the whole story...
and you update just as i was about to sleep...
But i had to read!
Shame on meeee~
although its your fault that your story is so...
awesome and well written and beautiful~

I cant wait for the next updateee~
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 10th, 2008 10:28 am (UTC)
That's so nice! Thank you so much!♥
hollyhock: brokebackhollyhockyuu on September 10th, 2008 03:49 am (UTC)
Was that to know if Yunho really loves him? ohh boy Jae stop making Minnie cry, just tell him already u_u
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 10th, 2008 10:31 am (UTC)
No, he broke up with Yunho.
Thanks for reading and commenting!:)
roughmetal2roughmetal2 on September 10th, 2008 03:50 am (UTC)
aaargh, my heart is crying for yunho. i'm glad that junsu finally came out clean but i hope he was just checking yunho's reaction and isn't really serious in breaking up with him.

and minnie, how long can he tolerate jae's relationship with yoochun?

can't wait for your next update.
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 10th, 2008 10:34 am (UTC)
Su is serious, he doesn't play those kind of games.

Thanks! I'll update soon!
狡猾な女: CIKY_fujitsu_ on September 10th, 2008 04:09 am (UTC)
poor YunHo((((
why does Ye-ryeon still want to marry with JunSu if she does love him too??? O.o

JaeMin here are soooo cute^^ but Minnie... he is upset =(
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 10th, 2008 10:37 am (UTC)
Ye-ryeon wants to marry Su for the same reason she agreed in the first place...she thinks that they would do well together. The only difference is that now they both know how the other feels about it. Since Su still wants to marry her (because he refuses to let his family know that he is gay) she doesn't see any reason not to. She is still just marrying her best friend. :)
hardlychosenhardlychosen on September 10th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC)

*calms down* I'm glad I could get that one out of my system. Anyway.. There's too much heart break and lies and misunderstandings going on around this fic, so I think we need do some major damage control before my heart gives out.


Apparently, you have three chapters to.. er.. either make my dreams come true or completely break the boys, thus breaking me, which would be HORRIBLE because then.. I don't know, I'd be broken.. And so would the boys.. And we can't have that..

Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 10th, 2008 10:40 am (UTC)
LOL! All I'll say is that "angst" isn't one of my fic tags...:)
lil_tvxqcamperlil_tvxqcamper on September 10th, 2008 06:50 am (UTC)
OMG! That's soooo drastic, how can that be? Hopefully this is a joke? Everyone's so hurt right now, although the truth is out, but Ye-ryeon is a strong girl, I wonder what they were really talking about? Does she mean what she's saying, after all the talk how su's in love? I really feel for Junsu, how hard it must be for him to leave Yunho and Yunho too, he'll be heart-broken again? That's really cruel, somehow I think that he's the victim most of the time...
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on September 10th, 2008 10:46 am (UTC)
Yeah, Yunho has had it rough. But even though Su loves Yunho he still won't come out to his family so he and Ye-ryeon don't see any reason to call off the wedding. Because of Yunho's past, he understands Su's desire to do whatever it takes not to alienate his family.